she thinks about how she could’ve easily lost this ; how the life of the woman she loves could’ve slipped past her fingers and disappear within seconds . and she wouldn’t be able to do anything but watch it all happen . that’s why her touch is laced with so much desperation ; emma’s afraid of losing her . no —— she’s absolutely fucking terrified of that thought ever coming true . that’s why , when caroline’s lips collide with hers , emma closes her arms around the woman’s slim waist so tightly that she has to tell herself not to crush her in the process .
two mouths move like they were meant for each other , every part of her filled with hunger and desperation as she pours all of it into their breath stealing kiss .
but with the woman’s words , it comes to an end . emma mirrors her movements , leaning her own back against the wooden surface while her lungs beg for air . silence follows ; she needs to take a moment before she finally opens her mouth to speak up , knowing that’s what caroline’s hoping for . ❝ you shouldn’t be . none of us have the right to judge you for what you did back there . ❞ emma lets out a sigh , eyes locked with the floor beneath her feet . she’s too afraid to look at the older woman . what if caroline thinks she’s being selfish ? ❝ none of us will ever know what we would do in that situation . i … i just … ❞ a pause ; another silence . the blonde finds herself blinking away tears again but one still manages to escape , and she’s forced to wipe it away . ❝ i got so fucking scared . i’m scared . i thought … i thought i had lost you . ❞ by the time her confession finally slips past her lips , she has her face hidden in her palms , a complete sobbing mess .
caroline’s glance remained posed where it was, far away from everything but the other woman’s lips as they moved. as emma spoke, and she found herself longing for another kiss that would soothe the loudness of her thoughts, heal the empty hole in her chest that continued to grow by the second. forced to relive old memories, to fall back into a bottomless pit she had barely escaped from alive.
three precious lives, gone. and with them, her own.
a deep breath was taken, a mixture of sighs and quiet, feminine sobs releasing from the back of caroline’s throat. chest heaving, hands squeezing one another —- nails digging and tears falling freely, a once focused gaze now blurred and heavy with sorrow. heavy with regret, the effect that her actions had had on emma suddenly revealing itself to her. if there were tears damping her lover’s cheeks, it was nobody’s fault but hers.
❝ listen to me. ❞ voice a stern whisper, steady despite the light tremble of caroline’s hands. pulling away from the wall, she stood in front of the crying woman and gently, oh so lovingly, slipped her arms around emma’s waist. lips finding the blonde’s forehead, eyes falling shut and fingers lacing with the same, golden locks she had kissed so many times before. ❝ god knows that i wasn’t brave enough, but you —- you have a chance at putting this all behind you. and i’m not going anywhere, not without you. ❞