No one had dragged anyone into anything; Fiona’s hand had not been forced, and she refused to allow Caroline to believe anything else. Expecting the other woman to have a clear head was far from reasonable, though, given all she had been through and all she had yet to endure. Fiona’s own nerves were ragged, absolutely on edge; whatever Caroline was feeling had to be magnified a thousand times or more.
She would never have agreed if it didn’t matter so much—and maybe nothing had ever mattered this much. For possibly the first time in her life, Fiona Goode sought to do something selfless, something from which she would not benefit first and foremost. Caroline’s ordeal had opened her eyes to a world of hurt and suffering that she had only ever played out onstage, never once imagining that such unspeakable tragedies could occur in any other circumstances. Certainly not in her life, certainly not so close to those she loved. To one she loved.
“If I didn’t want to be here, I wouldn’t be.” Nothing was more true than that; they both knew it. “You’ve never been selfish a day in your life.” That was true, too. Selfishness was Fiona’s game, far and away. “I don’t think you ever could be. You aren’t… you aren’t capable of it.”
fiona thought too highly of her —- but she was capable of murder, was she not? when the time came to end his life, caroline could have sworn on the memory of her - dead - daughter that she wouldn’t think it twice before holding a knife in her hand and delivering the final blow. she longed for it, had dreamed about it for months on end, had even pictured this moment in her head, countless times before. no remorse, no guilt; and only then, would the actress finally be able to breathe again.
and who could have blamed her for wishing him gone?
releasing the other woman’s hands, caroline closed the gap still left between them and slowly, almost delicately so, placed her arms around fiona’s neck. pulling herself forward, long fingers that brushed against the black lace of her dress and ghosted over the skin of her shoulders. tonight was the night, and she needed her the most.
❝ we will have to wait and see, won’t we? ❞ a saddened smile took over the pout on caroline’s lips, gaze dropping as one of her hands traced the blonde’s collarbone. ❝ join me for a drink, what say you? two, complete strangers on a train. there’s nothing wrong with that, surely. ❞